these inexplicable days of mine

Sometimes,

I have these days.

Where an inexplicable hurt pulses inside of me.
It's like all my bad memories have come back.
All the words said, penetrating so piercingly.

And if someone asks, "Are you okay?" - what can I say? Uh, no, not really, but I don't know why.

The tears are hard to hold back at these times. Out they come, hot on my cheeks. If I'm lying down, the tears drip down to my ears. They drip slowly, like hesitant rain.

My insides roil uncontrollably, and I don't have a grip, I have no explanation. Just my past sweeping through, a day where it's so hard to forget.  

Even harder to forgive.

And sometimes, all I can do is pray, knelt on the cold floor.

All I can do is cling to the new day coming.