No Need to Say Goodbye.

Please pick out one of the following songs to listen to as you read.
(Yeah. I'm serious.)

• Dove's Eyes 
• Times
• Arms Wide Open
• Jesus You're Beautiful
• How He Loves Us

In the language of the Apaches, there is no word for goodbye.

That struck me, when I heard it.
We were sharing on the last night we were in Cibecue, on our mission trip,
and someone told us that.



From then on, it resonated within me.

After we got up bright and early (or actually dark and early) on Friday, we packed up, cleaned up,
said goodbye to, and left-
Cibecue,
The Fountain of Living Waters Church,
Pastor Wayne,
and the place I had come to love.
All those memories,
of smiles, tears, and joy.
It became my home, just like that.

I couldn't say goodbye out loud. It was caught in my throat, caught in my heart. 

And we drove away, headed to the Grand Canyon.

We were in the bus for five hours or so. Dozing, talking, to the humming of the bus.
And then we arrived.

We walked,
and then, there it was.
Right there.
The Grand Canyon.
Layed before us.


It felt like a dream, I remember.

It felt unreal, not only thinking about how I was actually at the Grand Canyon, seeing it with my own eyes, but also because it looked unreal.


It looked so far away. And it was blue.
It was on the sky, nearly.
It was so deep, that it got bluer the further it got, the closer it got to touching the horizon.

I remember breathing in, when I saw it. 
The air tasted like life.
Breathing out then.



Consume us with your Majesty.

It was rugged, it was beautiful, it was vast. It was deep, long, wide.
Like the love of God. 


Alandra and I were together,
gazing,
half talking,
but mostly taking it in.

And I remember snippets of some conversation.

I remember Alandra said, "I can't see myself out there." I know, or think, that she meant it differently, but I thought, Yes.

Yes, I can't even see myself out there. The beauty, the love, so astounding, that I look and can't, or shouldn't, even begin to think about myself. I see God. Not myself. It takes my eyes off of myself and keeps them so astounded that I don't even have a moment to focus on myself. No selfishness in the midst of that glory.

And one day that will be true. Forever.

I thought about how
there is no goodbye to this. No goodbye to this beauty.

Because I'll see it forever.
Someday I'll stand before the King, face to face, in his splendor and majesty.

And we talked about how, if this, this is beautiful,
and this is the fallen earth-
then how much more so will the new earth be?
Even that indescribable beauty, is faded, broken, flawed.

Oh, there's better beauty to come.

Mr. Bill, one of the most Holy Spirit filled people I've met, came up to me and Alandra for a minute while we were looking as we leaned on the fence.

He mentioned, how when he saw it,
he got a rush of goose bumps.
Like how the Holy Spirit feels.

I can't even begin to describe it. I know I say that all the time. But really, this. This is indescribable. You had to be there. Such awe. Such beauty to take my breath away.

One thing I loved: when we first walked up to it, there were people everywhere, speaking different languages, from different countries. The throng, hum, and rush of the mingling,
was a wonderful feeling.

We want know how high, how deep. how wide is love, love, love. 
Let us fall more in love with you.

I can't hold my love back from you.

"All it can do is make you glorify God."

People talked about
how
how can they all see this and not, not, acknowledge God? And not believe in him?


It's crazy. It's astounding.
But I know what it's like to be blind, too. I am, often.


And Mrs. Austen preached. As we stood next to the Grand Canyon. It was powerful. It was perfect.


"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
-from Ephesians 3

I've forgotten so much more about it, but I will hold it in my heart always.

And there's no need to say goodbye to it. There's no word for it.
Because there is an eternity ahead of us.