Awaken me.

Sometimes I awaken. Get the glimpses of truth, the epiphanies, the divine ripping away of blindness. God peeling away those selfish layers like a curtain holding out the light. And I see.

I can see.

Light flashes bright. A shock for my eyes accustomed to the dark of the world. 

And in that moment, I see the ashes of my life and of this world. I see it for what it truly is in the exposure: futile.

It’s nothing. All those trivial things only hinder me and blind me.

But as that moment of enlightenment begins to fade, I stop striving and start sliding.

Sliding back.

Back, with eyes hypnotized. Believing these worldly things are like shimmering pearls. The illusion crawls back up, tricking my heart, and it’s only when the trumpet will sound that the pearls will fade before my eyes. And that’s when the sickening dread and regret will crash over me.

When it’s too late.

And I don’t want that to happen to me.

Partly because of plain old fear. Maybe it’s the wrong motivation, but. . .

I just, God-

I never.

Never.

Want to lose eyes for eternity.

May your Spirit reign in me so thick that I can never forget. Never lose sight, flush away purpose and time. This life is a vapor, disappearing in the wind. And there’s not much time, not much time. You’re at the door. May a holy haste and urgency press on my heart at all moments. May your presence be so near me, so thoroughly meshed with my heart that I’m always striving, yearning, acting. May I be bold.

Because the time’s short. It’s so short.

And I don’t want to awake when it’s too late.