If they saw this person, they would scream.
If they got to touch them, they might cry.
And oh, imagine, if this person, if their hero,
spoke to them?
They would carry those words with them for the rest of their lives.
And it's funny how fans listen to music over and over again, until their very ears bleed and they can say the lyrics in their sleep. Everything gets memorized, and why? Because they love this music. It touches something inside of them. Those words and the person who made them becomes a part of them forever.
It's funny, too, how these listeners, these worshipers, label themselves as belonging to the group they listen to. They declare how they like them, support them. Their very names are born from their love.
It's funny, how I stuff my hands in my pockets when I feel the urge to raise my hands in church. It's funny how hastily I rush through my nightly devotions, how fast I mutter a prayer before dinner. It's funnier still how my Facebook says I'm a follower of Jesus Christ but I barely think about this God-Man I label myself with. I take the Bible's words too lightly, and when was the last time I memorized a verse on my own? And not because I had to?
But wait, it's not funny. It's not funny at all,
when, for the first time,
I decide to sit before Jesus and pray.
I set up a chair in the dark of my room for him, and I sit across from him in my rocking chair. And do you know what? I see how un-funny it is when I imagine him sitting across from me and see him looking right at me. Looking through me. Here I am,
before him,
and there is no laughter in me when I see the hypocrite and sinner I am. When have my actions matched the words I've written? When have my beliefs been carried out?
I'm sitting, I'm sitting in front of Jesus.
And all I can do is cry,
because I'm not worthy.
* * *
Linking up for Imperfect Prose on this Wednesday. Isn't this post so poignant? It touched me to the core. . .
8 comments:
this humbled me hardcore, anna. i shared it on facebook. thank you for speaking truth, friend.
so much truth. Thank you
Sobering. Beautiful. Thank you for hitting us right between the eyes with this, for the reminder of the gift we toss about like it isn't absolutely everything, the only valuable part of our lives.
I loved reading this . . . yet, I think Jesus would show such love and tenderness - as He did with the woman at the well - and say He knows our hearts - He knows our intentions - He knows . . . and we are still a work in progress. I KNOW He so desires our time with Him, yet, just as He did with the disciples, He will keep pursuing us back to Him. It's not funny anymore, but He wants us to know JOY - real LIFE in HIM!
Beautiful write. Thought-provoking. How do we best proclaim that we're Jesus fans? I'm a Jesus fan (and a Merle Haggard fan, too).
good stuff. thanks for sharing you heart.
And you're only seventeen? Such wisdom and depth of seeing here.
You know, I remember hearing friends talk about how much they loved Jesus but I could never quite wrap my brain around what that meant. Because you're right--where I devote my time and energy and loyalty is where my heart is. And far too often, I devote my heart to things that really don't matter. So glad emily shared your post. Blessings to you.
I am overwhelmed by all of your responses... I have never gotten this many comments - and all so kind.
And to writingcanvas - thank you for reminding me of that. And that is the sweetest truth, that he pursues me to the end.
Thank you all! I'm so grateful for all of your answers.
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